Hooli-Con Keynote Blows Up, and Not in a Good Way

After a thrilling day of booths, talks, panels and demos, Hooli-Con culminated in a show-stopping keynote by CEO “Action” Jack Barker – but it may not have been quite the kind of show-stopping Barker was hoping for. In his first ever Hooli-Con keynote, Hooli’s new CEO told the audience to turn on the newly installed HooliVR in their HooliPhones, and audience members across the auditorium jumped up – not with excitement, but panic – as their phones exploded in their pants, hands, and for a select few, in their cell phone holsters. Yes, they still make those.

A Legacy Lost: CEO and Chief Innovator Gavin Belson Exits Hooli

“Action” Jack Barker to succeed

Founder of Hooli Gavin Belson has come to the end of his tenure as CEO and chief innovator. Belson, who also founded the company, announced his resignation via Hooli press release today, stating he would be focusing on “spiritual wellness and family.” He went on to say, “The Hooli corporation is exceptionally well positioned to continue its growth as an industry leader. While a difficult personal decision, this is the right choice for me at this time. I will always cherish my time at Hooli and look forward to future challenges and opportunities.”

Belson Takes a Backseat: Hooli’s CEO Focusing “On Spiritual Wellness and Family”

Hooli underwent big changes today, as CEO and Chief Innovation Officer Gavin Belson announced he would be curtailing his duties at the tech conglomerate, stating he would be focusing on “spiritual wellness and family.” Via a Hooli press release, Belson continued, “The Hooli corporation is exceptionally well positioned to continue their growth as an industry leader. While a difficult personal decision, this is the right choice for me at this time. I cherish my time at Hooli and look forward to future challenges and opportunities.”

CEO Jack Barker Exits Pied Piper

Jack “Action Jack” Barker announced his resignation from the compression startup this week, stating he would be focusing on “spiritual wellness and family.” Via a Pied Piper press release, Barker continued: “The Pied Piper corporation is exceptionally well positioned to continue its growth as an industry leader. While a difficult personal decision, this is the right choice for me at this time. I will always cherish my time at Pied Piper and look forward to future challenges and opportunities.”

Head Dreamer of Hooli XYZ Resigns. Will Hooli Ever Dream Again?

Hooli lost a great mind today, as Nelson “Big Head” Bighetti announced his resignation as Head Dreamer of the Hooli XYZ division, stating he would be focusing on “spiritual wellness and family.” Via a Hooli press release, Bighetti continued: “The Hooli corporation is exceptionally well positioned to continue their growth as an industry leader. While a difficult personal decision, this is the right choice for me at this time. I will always cherish my time at Hooli and look forward to future challenges and opportunities.”