Gavin Belson’s brilliant leadership is unstoppable. While allegedly taking a personal hiatus from day-to-day operations at Hooli, Belson couldn’t resist brokering a blockbuster deal between Hooli and Maleant Data Systems, deploying Hooli’s innovative new Hooli/Endframe Box. The multi-year deal brings handsome margins for Hooli and can easily be a template to apply across the entire Fortune 1000. An inside source tells me that, no surprise, the board was no longer satisfied to let Belson fade into the background. Hat in hand, they begged Belson to come back to the helm.
When Hooli acquired Endframe, no one could wait to see what the tech giant would do with the revolutionary, middle-out compression technology. The wait is over: In a savvy pivot, Hooli took the software and created their newest hardware: the Hooli/Endframe Box. While initially conceived as a consumer-facing platform, the Endframe technology has been repurposed to “make the world a better place through secure, high-capacity enterprise data storage servers utilizing middle-out compression technology.”
Many of us have wondered for far too long: What is Pied Piper, exactly? The exciting young startup has announced…
Downtown San Francisco was awash in visionaries this week, when tech titans, business masterminds and creative icons met at the Serrano Hotel for this year’s Vanity Fair Summit. The event attracted the minds of everyone from Elon Musk to Lena Dunham, and attendees enjoyed stimulating talks, panels and of course, networking in the lobby.
Hooli underwent big changes today, as CEO and Chief Innovation Officer Gavin Belson announced he would be curtailing his duties at the tech conglomerate, stating he would be focusing on “spiritual wellness and family.” Via a Hooli press release, Belson continued, “The Hooli corporation is exceptionally well positioned to continue their growth as an industry leader. While a difficult personal decision, this is the right choice for me at this time. I cherish my time at Hooli and look forward to future challenges and opportunities.”
Erlich Bachman sits before me in a disheveled suit. His eyes are tired. He reeks of marijuana smoke, sweat and a hint of ramen. Bachman has invested in many startups over the years, and he finally had a winner with hot compression play Pied Piper. The scrappy startup recently released the most-talked-about beta the Valley’s had in years, and its official launch has set off a whirlwind of press and notoriety. All signs point to Pied Piper being the next Dropbox, Facebook and Uber combined. But just before this launch—after the successful beta, the moment when the company was poised to skyrocket in value—Erlich Bachman walked away.
What would cause a man to give up on his golden goose? In Bachman’s case, idiocy and personal bankruptcy. Bachman’s idiocy is well-established. Beyond investing in such non-starters as Nip Alert and Smokation (rumored to be pedophile-oriented, making both of his most well known investments not just stupid, but also perverted), Bachman’s history of selling startups dates back to his very first company: Aviato. Before Frontiers Airlines bought the company, the possibilities were endless. Now Aviato will never fly higher than Frontiers’ fleet of airbuses. All because, as Bachman tells me, “My head is so far up my ass I can see the future.” The silver lining of the Aviato sale was that it allowed Bachman to run his incubator, where tech genius Richard Hendricks founded Pied Piper. It would seem Bachman’s endless stream of dumb, perverted apps was finally at its end, but his story wasn’t over.
Bachman recently founded venture capital firm Bachmanity Capital with tech icon (soon to be legend, I’m sure) Nelson “Big Head” Bighetti, and the pair hosted a lavish launch event, aptly titled “Bachmanity Insanity.” The party, like Bachman, was loud, extravagant and a bit of a farce. It was a luau. At Alcatraz. One for which Bachman chose to pay for all liquor at retail cost, and one where he lost a giant fiberglass Tiki head at the bottom of the bay. The expenses for fire dancers, flair bartenders and exotic caterers totaled over $1 million. Bachman maintains these were “practical costs for any groundbreaking business.”
While many, including this very publication, have had their doubts about Pied Piper’s viability in the saturated tech market, it turns out there’s always room for something that will truly change the world. Since their fire-hot beta was released, Pied Piper has made waves all across the valley. The compression software—with a Weissman score in the fives—is now fully realized. As if that wasn’t impressive enough, estimates indicate that with widespread use it could shrink the internet by 10 percent.
The wind is blowing across the Bay tonight as party guests pack in a boat to Alcatraz Island for Bachmanity Insanity, a sure-to-be-dazzling event hosted by Bachmanity Capital (please note our disclosure here: Bachmanity is an investor in Code/Rag). Check back here for live updates.
This liveblog has concluded. Posts have been compiled below in chronological order.
In a betrayal of public trust and an obscene display of vanity, Hooli’s CEO Gavin Belson has manipulated the Hooli-Search results that appear when you search his name. An un-named Hooli insider tells us the tech CEO was “really pissed” when a Hooli-Search of “Gavin Belson” led to a less-than-favorable list of links showcasing early dissatisfaction with the Nucleus platform. And so Belson felt it was time to give Hooli-Search a “Hooli-Scrub.”
After a prolonged public search (reported both here and at TechCrunch), the Pied Piper Board of Directors has reinstated founder Richard Hendricks as its CEO. Board member and managing partner Laurie Bream stated via press release that it was “an examined decision, but ultimately the correct one, once one looks at Richard Hendricks’ qualifications, talents as an engineer and his understanding of the company’s needs. We are thrilled to have Richard back in this leadership position in which we expect him to excel.”